Thoughts to Ponder
Posted by StormWarning on 03 Sep 2008 at 05:48 am | Tagged as: Humor
As we near the 3/4 mark in 2008, I found this to be an interesting list of things to ponder.
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet
and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky …. Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven’t got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?
Want one more?
Menopause Jewelry
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond. Dumb ass.
Basically, the World is a dangerous place. Sometimes, simply pondering ridiculous thoughts helps eliminate the concern that at some point, some idiot is going to do something stupid and bring it all to a halt. And then, after things haven’t happened the way “they” thought it would, the pondering will go deeper into revelation.
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